What's going on in my minty life?

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Minzpyjama's avatar
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A lot!

First of all: Work heals from depressions.
No kidding. But I guess most of you already know about this.

Since I have to work "all the time" I did loose a lot of my depression-time.
Sometimes, in the night, I start to cry and to fall. But that´s okay, as long as my girl lies next to me.

I will start from the beginning of this changes:

Three weeks ago I started a new plan: I wanted to start an academic studies.
I was really in this plan, all my life suddenly changed and I felt hope like I never did before.
This might sound pathetic, but as you maybe know: I never knew what to do with my life.
I made my general qualification for university entrance. I learned hairdresser. I learned graphic designer.

And now I´m working in a call-center for banking.

Ah terrible... But suddenly I thought about studying screen-play/script and dramaturgy. I thought, even if I won´t work in TV or movie-branch, I would at least learn something that was interessting to my, since I was a child.

BUT then I learned more about the qualifying examination. You either need to be a genius, or you need to have some years of work-experience in this branche.
And I can´t come up with one of this two requirements.

If you want to do this school, you have to plan staying in this branche for the rest of your life, because otherwise it would be absurd to study this. (Besides: They only take about 3-5 students a year)
And I have to admit: TV and Movies won´t be my only desire. I´m pretty honest with such things. Why stealing the time of the professors and my own life, when I already know that I won´t fulfill their expectations anyway?

Besides: It is a very hard schooling, and I won´t be able to work for my livelihood and to draw additionally.

This was smashing, and I fell in very dark thoughts. It took me some days until I finally managed to look forward again. And I had help:
Not only my girl was by my side, but also My-chan, my boss from :iconDA-Fireangels: .
She helped me unknowingly with a little, funny project, that was a little pressed for time. And that made me think again.

Why not staying on this way?
I love drawing. I nearly forgot because I had a bad drawing-blockade the last weeks.
But drawing is maybe all I have, all I can do.
I will never be able to live from my comics, but I will also never stop loving them.

Maybe I´m going to do some schoolings next year. And I definitly have to get another job.
But currently I found my peace with doing what I love to do.
I lost a lot of my adult concerns when I think about drawing comics.
Because somewhen there comes the time when you have to accept what you are.
And I am a comic-artist who will never be able to live from what he earns from drawing.

-

Today I´m going to finish the little project, I was talking about.
Tomorrow I will continue "Oktavian", one day- one page.
And every moment I don´t have to spend in "Oktavian", I will invest in my upcoming Web-Comic.
Yeah. It is decided. I will start "Mnemosyne" as a Web-comic.
And I will start it this year.

For those who don´t know about this project: I´m working on this plot since ... yeah about 7 years now. It is my so called "heart and soul" and I never was ready to actually start it. I´m still not good enough, but I can hear my characters scream for attention so... let´s go!
© 2011 - 2024 Minzpyjama
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Cecelin0's avatar
I believe in you, hun. No matter what life has in store for you I know you'll make the best if it. Just remember that you deserve to be happy too. <3